"Even If" October 12, 2017

Mercy Me - Even If"

"They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I'm losing bad
I've stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it'll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can't
It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now
I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul
I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
You've been faithful, You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You're able
I know You can
I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

Originally published to Facebook 10/12/17

"Hear Me Cry Oh God" October 11, 2017

8:28 AM
"Bless the Lord oh my soul. Bless and praise His Holy name. Though troubles surround me and my heart is in pain, I will praise the Holy name of Jesus. He is the firm rock on which I stand. His Words bring me peace and understanding. Still, hear my cry oh God. Give in unto my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you as my heart grows faint."

6:04 PM
"'You have rejected us, God, and burst upon us; you have been angry—now restore us! You have shaken the land and torn it open; mend its fractures, for it is quaking. You have shown your people desperate times; you have given us wine that makes us stagger. But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner to be unfurled against the bow. Save us and help us with your right hand, that those you love may be delivered.

Give us aid against the enemy, for human help is worthless. With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies.'
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭60:1-5, 11-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Dan, Jenna, Shelley"

Originally published to Facebook the morning and evening of 10/11/17

"The Post Mom Was Too Sick To Read" October 10, 2017

"I love you mom. Please, please know this. I wish it were me going through this and not you. You don't deserve this. I do. You have been a stronger voice for God than I have. You have walked a better Christian life than I have. You've been a better spouse than I have. You've had stronger faith than I have. You've read more Bible than I have. You've listened to more Biblical teachings than I have. You've given more testimony of God's goodness than I have. While you've read the Bible, I've watched tv. While you've sung praises to God, I've sang meaningless songs. While you've spent time alone praying to God, I've gone out to bars. While you've been filled with Holy Spirit, I've filled my gut with food, beer and wine. You've given generously, I've hoarded onto junk. It should be me.

It is me that deserves this disease. Not you. God knows I wish I could take your place.

But I need you to know how much I love you. And that I'm not giving up hope. My hope is STILL in God and in God alone."

Originally published to Facebook 10/10/17 

"Restart Button" October 5, 2017

"In the summer of 2006, the “Restart Button” on my life was pressed. And, as everyone knows, when the restart button is pressed, if you haven’t saved your current progress, you have to start back at the beginning.

At that time, I had no idea what would become of my life or what God had in store for my future. Still, I hung onto the promise He made which was to “fully restore me.” At the time, I didn’t know what that restoration would look like, but I was anxious and ready to find out.

Fast forward a few months later to December 2006. Before Facebook would dominate the Social Interwebs, I was on MySpace chatting with friends looking for something to do that New Year’s Eve. I had just completed my outpatient physical therapy after having been in physical rehabilitation for seven weeks, following a coma for six and a half weeks as a result of a car accident. I was feeling pretty good but I couldn’t drive anywhere because, due to a brain injury, I was waiting to take my drivers test again. In the meantime, I was back at home living with my parents, but I was desperate to get out and do something.

On MySpace my friend Emily messaged me and said that the church she was attending, Grace Church in Wooster, was having a New Year’s Eve service and that some people were getting together afterwards. However, I couldn't drive and Wooster was about a two-hour drive from my parents house. Still, my dad, seeing how desperate I was to get out, said that if I could stay the night with my Wooster friends, Chad and Natalie Kohler, he would drive me all the way down there. So, I messaged my friends and they said I could stay with them that night. So my dad drove me all the way to Wooster that evening. At the end of the church service, Chad’s wife, Natalie, was having a get together at her parents house and we left for that.

At Natalie’s parents house, the gathering was mostly made up of “couples.” I didn’t see any single ladies for a little while. Then, a beautiful single brunette walked into the room and I could not take my eyes off her. I walked my feeble self up to Caroline and started making small talk. The small talk turned into medium talk. And, before I knew it, we literally talked all night long and we never left each other’s side.

Soon midnight would bring 2007. And, though I felt like I had known her my whole life, we didn't kiss at midnight. I think we maybe hugged. Nevertheless, 2007 was here and on October 6, 2007, I would marry my beautiful Caroline.
The next ten years would be filled with hills and valleys, stressful times and peaceful times, heartbreaking losses but wonderful, heartwarming, gains. And, through it all, we have remained by each other’s side. Just like that New Year's Eve in 2006. And today, looking at all that God has given me, I see now how He has restored me.

So for my Caroline, my best friend, my love, my wife, I look forward to what God has for us. I look forward to raising our two beautiful children and spending the rest of our lives together. Right here. Right by each other’s side where we started.
Happy 10 Year Anniversary Caroline!"

Originally published to Facebook 10/5/17

"Perseverance" September 17, 2017

"Perseverance - "steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success."

The Word of God says, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:1-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Perseverance is the ability to keep going and hanging on. “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” - Romans 5:5

Keep going. Hope."

Originally published to Facebook 9/17/17

"We Will Praise You No Matter What" Septermber 7, 2017

"Dear God,
We’re not sure what you’re doing. We don’t know why you haven’t answered our prayer. We feel completely paralyzed, separated, and heartbroken. We wish we had more hope. We wish we had more faith. We wish we had more trust. But we feel hallow and defeated inside. Yet, somewhere, deep in the bottom of our hearts, we still believe you can change this situation. The sliver of hope and faith we do have, still believes you can heal mom. Yet, it is the unknown which scares us and causes us to detach and separate ourselves from the entire situation to protect our hearts and spirits from being completely shattered. Lord God, there’s a mountain on top of us that needs to be moved and a mustard seed of faith is all we have left.

Lord, you are the Hope for the hopeless. You are the Faith for the faithless. You are the Strength for the weak. You are Trustworthy. Therefore, what small amount of hope we still have, we put in you. What sliver of faith we still cling to, we turn over to you. You are our Father, our deliverer, our Peace.

Let us remember your words, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” - 2 Corinthians 4:8-18 NIV

We will praise you oh Lord no matter what. We will give thanks in all circumstances since this is your will for us in Christ Jesus. Renew us oh Lord. Strengthen us. Let us not lose heart. Set our focus on what is unseen and not what is seen. Let the life of Jesus be revealed in this situation. It is in Jesus name we pray, Amen."

Originally published to Facebook 9/7/17

"'The Great Facilitator'" August 29, 2017

"My friend Sarah Mourer posted this and I thought it was really good. 'Devotional Nugget #828: "The disciples didn’t notice the fulfillment of many Scriptures at the time, but after Jesus was glorified, they remembered that what was written about him matched what was done to him." John 12:16 MSG God knows what is best and there are moments when He hides Himself. However, when the time is right, He is revealed and the impact is life changing. The disciples knew the Scriptures, but they may have behaved differently if they had put it all together. They had to think and wrestle with what they saw and heard, but they might have lost some of that had they realized that many prophecies were coming to fruition before their eyes. They might have lost empathy. 'Jesus is going to die a miserable death, but that's His lot in life.' The disciples anguished over Jesus' death. And what about Mary and Joseph?!? What would they have done differently had they understood, really understood? There's another example when Jesus appeared to two disciples after His death and resurrection. The disciples were on the road to Emmaus discussing Jesus' death. The conversation would have completed changed had they known that resurrected Jesus was walking with them. However Jesus' identity remained hidden from them until the right moment for maximum impact. The key is that God doesn't hide Himself to frustrate us, but to allow us to dig deeper or to facilitate greater revelation about something. I think that one of God's names should be The Great Facilitator.'" Originally published to Facebook 8/29/17

"In Tragedy Or In Victory" August 24, 2017

"I had a good time visiting and staying with my mom last night. I was glad to be with her and keep her company.

Because I have not written a formal update for a while, and several people have asked, I will update you.

Over the last two years, mom has gone through several forms of chemotherapy, immunotherapy and several trial drugs. None of them have worked. The various forms of therapy, in combination with the drugs and pain killers, have made mom very weak and very sick. And while mom has had a couple days where she feels better than others, she is always in a lot of pain and always very tired.

Since her treatments have not shown significant results, the doctors have told us there is nothing else they can do for her except try to make her comfortable. From what I've been told, the tumor in her abdomen has grown quite large and is wrapped around her liver and spleen. They cannot remove it.

I never thought it would come to this. I had fully expected that the Lord would heal her through His divine power or that He would lead us to a drug that would work for her by now. I never thought I would see my mom in so much pain, frustration and sadness.

But God can still do anything. He can still heal her. He can still lead us to a new form of medication that can help. In Christ all things are possible.

For those of you who know me and my family, you know how our family responds to both tragedy and victory in the face of impossible situations. In both, we never stop believing. We never stop trusting. We never stop hoping.

Some mornings I wake up hoping this was all just a nightmare. I'm always heartbroken to learn it isn't. Most days I feel paralyzed, emotionally and spiritually. But my faith, hope and trust in Christ Jesus is still very much alive.

Our pastor recently reminded us that the Bible isn't full of stories of what "people" can do. It's full of stories of what "God" can do. And our family has seen first hand God's healing power. So my faith, my trust and my hope is in Him. And regardless of how this situation ends, in tragedy or in victory, my love and faith in Christ will not be shaken.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. They mean so much to me and my family. Bless you all."

Originally published to Facebook 8/24/17

"Goodbye Hunter" August 13, 2017

"This morning we unexpectedly said "goodbye" to our family's most beloved pet and the best dog we've ever had, "Hunter."
Hunter came into our lives at a very significant time, when I came home from the hospital after my car accident in 2006. He was just a puppy. Hunter was here for the births of Myles, Josiah and Millie and he loved playing with the kids. When he wasn't playing with the kids, he was playing with the neighbors dogs and keeping mom and dad company. And when mom got sick, he would not leave her side.

We're going to miss him. A good boy. A good dog. Goodbye Hunter."

Originally published to Facebook 8/13/17 

"We Have The Biggest But Of All" June 20, 2017

"We have the biggest "but" of all!

In a world of doubt, confusion, anger and fear, there’s a lot of stuff that we see or hear about every day that can really make living life rather depressing. Whatever the circumstance, whatever the issue, there’s always something that happens in our lives that can rob us of our peace, happiness and comfort. Whether it’s an issue with the house, the car, our marriage, our kids, our job, our health or something in the news, there’s always something nearly every day that can steal our joy. But God.

Recently, I visited my mom and dad over Father’s Day weekend. Going up to my mom and dad’s hasn’t been easy these last couple years. In 2015, my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and, though it was removed, the cancer quickly spread. We were hopeful at the time that treatments like immunotherapy, chemotherapy and the newest cancer-fighting “trial” drug would knock out the remaining cancer, but 2 years later, mom is still sick and in pain. It’s extremely hard for me and the rest of my family to see my mom suffering. And, even more recently, mom has had several infections which have prevented her from further chemotherapy treatments. Missing her treatments, there has been no medicine to fight off any remaining cancer. But God.

Yesterday, my mom called me to share the results of her latest cat scan. I was afraid to hear more bad news. However, the cat scan report showed that there were no new growths. Mom said the doctor was happy with the results, but also puzzled. So that was good news. The bad news was that her doctor isn’t optimistic and indicated that, when the cancer comes back, there won’t be anything else they can do for her. But God.

My mom and dad have heard these words before. Even as far back as before I was born, doctors told my parents they wouldn’t have any children. But God gave them three. When our family fell on financially hard times and one evening, my mom in tears, had nothing to feed us. But God brought a lady from our church over with a couple boxes full of food to feed us. My dad’s employers were closing their doors and dad didn’t know what he was going to work. But God gave my dad a new job. Doing the same job. Right down the street. After a bad car crash that left me in a coma in July of 2006, doctors gave my parents the same news. They told my parents, “We’ve done all we can do for him. There’s nothing more we can do. I’m sorry.” But God had a different plan.

But God. The Word of God says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

So, when things look hopeless and the impossible presents itself, just remember, “but God…” and know that with man, things are impossible, "but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

My sister and brother-in-law got this plaque for my dad for Father's Day. These are the words my dad kept hearing when the doctor gave them the news about my mom. It serves as a reminder of who God is, what He has done and what we pray He will do again."

Originally published to Facebook 6/20/17

"Be Still, And Know That I Am God" June 15, 2017

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." - Isaiah 55:8. "He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'” - Psalm 46:10

I know you're in pain, mom. I know we're all confused as to what God is doing or what He's waiting for. But God is still God. You've taught us to trust in Him, no matter what. So that's what I'm going to do. He is the creator of the heavens and earth, all that is in them as well as you and me. He knows what he's doing. More importantly, He loves you so much. More than any of us love you. To the best of your ability, rest in His love for you and know that He is still God.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18

Originally published to Facebook 6/15/17

"Even In Her Pain" May 10, 2017

"Even in her pain and suffering, laying alone in her hospital bed tonight, my mom sends love and encouragement to others. Lord God, this Mother's Day please bless my compassionate mom with healing. Please show her compassion. In Jesus name I pray, amen."

 

Originally published to Facebook 5/10/17

"Learning To Say Goodbye" February 20, 2017

"Last year, today, we said "goodbye" to our house in Canton and we moved to Massillon. The temperature was near 80 degrees and we had a wonderful group of family and friends who came to help. We had everything packed up and moved in under 6 hours. It had to be some kind of a record. After everything was packed up, everyone was gone and the house was just an empty shell, I purposely took one last walk around our house by myself. In every room there were so many images of so many happy memories. The garage, where Myles kept his toys and bikes. The kitchen, where Caroline would bake her famous homemade granola and where we experimented cooking squid for the first time (not good). The dinning room that we slept in when we first moved there in 2010, shared many great meals and conversations with family friends and told Myles he would soon be a big brother to a little sister. The living room where Myles would take his first steps and where we would later play hide and seek and dance around listening to Gangnam Style. The family room where we first told our family we were we're having a baby boy, where Myles watched The Muppet Show and The Lawrence Welk show and where Caroline and I would sit with the windows open watching TV. The downstairs and upstairs bathrooms that my dad, brother-in-law and friends helped us remodel. Our bedrooms that our families helped us paint and where a pregnant Caroline sat on the floor rubbing off paint stains so we could have hardwood floors. These were just a few of the millions of memories inside the house. After I locked up the house, one last time, I took my last walk around the outside of the house. I saw the two trees that use to be joined by our hammock. I saw our back patio where we had a few of Myles birthday parties and where we would grill out and eat dinner as a family on warm summer days. I saw the back yard where Myles would ride his four-wheeler, where we would play in his sandbox and walk around finding cool sticks. I admired all of the beautiful landscaping my brother-in-law created to make the outside of our house look amazing. Millions of amazing memories. Leaving this house was not easy - in more ways than one. For me, however, it was more of an emotional experience than I expected. And, as anyone who has owned and left a house can tell you, it's not just a house. It's a larger space filled with smaller spaces, each filled with hundreds of thousands of special memories that you can't take with you except in pictures and memories. Despite our few frustrations with this house, it was a blessing from God and we were greatly blessed in it." Originally published to Facebook on 2/20/17

"Two Fathers" January 16, 2017

"After getting a call with some hard-to-hear news about my mom tonight, I just wanted to just go to bed and be done with today. However, I needed to put Myles to bed first. So Myles and I went upstairs, brushed his teeth and got into his bed. I didn't feel like reading anything to him, but Myles wanted me to. So I picked up his "Action Bible" and turned to the chapter he had already bookmarked. It was the story of Ezekiel and the vision God gave him of the "dry bones." I read it to Myles. And while the vision that God gave to Ezekiel was a prophetic vision of what God would eventually do with Israel, it was also a picture of what the power of God can do. God can take a bunch of old dead dry bones, give them tendons and flesh and breath life back into them. The power of God. It could have ended there, but Myles wanted me to read out of his other "My First Bible," as well. This time, Myles eagerly pawed through the pages looking for page 25. I didn't know why he wanted page 25, or what was on it, but he finally found it and gave it to me. So I read to him what was there - the shortened story of King Solomon. Myles Bible said King Solomon had a dream, a dream where God told Solomon to ask Him for whatever he wanted and God would give it to him. So King Solomon asked God to make him wise and, even though it was just a dream, God really answered Solomon's prayer and made him a wise king. In fact, Solomon was the wisest king. These two stories that I read to Myles tonight, which I did not pick out, came at the perfect time. And as I see it now, tonight was not about me reading a story to my son. It was about two fathers, speaking to their children. The message? God can do anything. Just ask him. Oh Lord my God, in the name of your son Jesus Christ, please heal my mom. Amen.

Originally published to Facebook 1/16/17

"The Prophetic Dream Of What Was To Come" January 9, 2017

In early January of 2017, I had a very detailed, very prophetic, dream of how the rest of 2017 was going to play out. I shared the dream with my family on 1/9/17 and, while we tried to remain optimistic of how we interpreted it, looking back on it now, it was God preparing us for what was to come.

"I had a very long and very detailed dream the other night. I was helping dad put together another large church play. I was in charge of running the slides which would be projected on a large overhead screen via a digital projector. 

The play was buttoned up and everything was ready to go. The cast was confident. The choir and the music director, Jenny Reum, had all the music sounding beautiful and every song was timed out perfectly to the production. 

However, not long before the play would begin, we had to suddenly move the entire production to a different church. It was made clear to me that, by moving the production to this other church, more people would be reached by the message the play had to convey.

Yet, just hours before the production began, I realized this church didn't have a digital projector. As massive amounts of people began to arrive by the droves, I frantically began searching for a digital projector. But somehow this production had also caught the attention of the local media and news reporters and photographers began to arrive.  Still, I was desperately searching for the projector.

To make matters worse, in the midst of the chaos, Caroline had left to get something out of our car and she had been gone for a long time. As I went all through this huge church looking for a projector, I was also looking for her. When I finally did find her, I asked her what took her so long? She explained that someone had hit our car parked in the church parking lot, but didn't know who. However, my biggest concern at the moment was still finding a projector.

Finally, a projector was located. The only caveat was that it was a very old overhead projector and all the slides in the production would need to be completely rewritten by hand with a sharpie on transparency. Unfortunately, there was no time to do this. I somberly sat down in the pews next to dad and Jenny Reum and we prayed. Still, the media, guests and congregation were waiting and there was no production to begin.

To the devastation of dad and disappointment of the rest, dad went up on stage and, with tears in his eyes and his face filled with stress, told everyone there would be no play today. You could see and hear the heartbreak in his voice and face. He was defeated. I had never seen dad look like this. It broke my heart.

So, filled with determination and resilience, I pushed through the crowd of disappointed spectators and climbed up on stage. I grabbed the microphone and spoke to the small crowd that was still seated. I told them with complete confidence that God had a plan through all of this and even though we didn't get to do what we wanted to do, I believe His purpose was accomplished even though I don't know what that was. And I still love him.

I wish the prophet Daniel was still around to interpret this dream. It seems extremely too detailed to just be gibberish thoughts brought on by stress or food.

 

"Last Christmas With Mom" December 25, 2016

I will forever be thankful that none of us knew this would be the last Christmas photo with my mom. The genuine joy and heartfelt warmth of enjoying our complete family on this Christmas will forever be a blessing to all of us.

Originally published to Facebook 12/25/16

"What Is Trust?" July 20, 2016

"To my family:

I’m not sure why it seems like the Lord gives us hope, leads us in one direction, and then suddenly takes that hope away from us. I don’t know and I don’t have the answers. The truth is I am scared and I am incredibly heartbroken just like you. It completely shatters my heart to think of what could happen - a world without our mom, our kids without their Gammy. We feel like we should be doing something, but we don’t know what to do. There is nothing we ourselves can do to heal our mom from this terrible disease.

The question many are asking (including myself) is, “If there is a God that loves us, and He loves my mom and my mom loves Him, then why is He letting this happen to her?” Certainly God has the power to heal our mom and we all are praying that in Jesus name He does so. However, His ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans (Isaiah 55:8). This sounds a bit brash, but that’s where “Trust” with a capital “T” comes into the picture.

As Christians, we talk all the time about having faith and trusting God.
“Just trust in God.”
“Have faith, brother!”
“I have faith.”
“I’m trusting God, sister.”
“I trust that God will work this all out.”
Yet, when all that fluffy surface trust talk gets scraped away and we find ourselves face to face with an impossible situation, of which we have no control over, that’s when we discover what we truly believe. When all other solutions and possibilities are taken from us, and it seems all hope is gone, that’s when we need the real Trust.

Have we learned nothing about Faith and Trust? The impossible situation that we all faced 10 years ago surely has a lesson in Faith for all of us. Who is this God that we have been raised to know? Who is the God that we chose to believe in and follow? Has this God not been faithful? Has this God not been trustworthy? Has this God not been able to make the impossible possible? Mom and dad have spent our entire lives teaching and showing us how to have Faith and Trust in the Lord our God. Now the time has come for us to do so.

Maybe we think this situation is somehow different or, maybe, this time God won’t show up. How did Trusting God work out before? We need to remember what happened 10 years ago and remember what our parents taught and have shown us to be true. No, it’s not easy. Nobody said having Faith and Trusting God would be easy.

Even until now, I’ve put my trust in man and in modern day medicine. I’ve neglected to put my Trust in the One and only person that matters, the One who can take this disease from mom. We need to Believe that God our father loves us and knows what we need before we even ask him (Matthew 6:8). We need to Trust that God, despite what He choses to do, loves us and has a purpose for each of us.

What is Trust? Trust, as I know it, is completely putting yourself into God’s hands while having no control whatsoever. There’s a reason we Janssen’s don’t like flying in airplanes - we don’t like being taken up into the sky with no control of what happens to us. We, and every passenger on that plane, is at the mercy of that pilot. What that pilot decides to do or where he decides to take that plane is, in the end, entirely up to him. Yet, that pilot does know exactly where he’s taking that plane and he does have a plan. This is the same fear we have with Trusting God. We have no control of the situation and we are at the mercy of what He decides to do and where He decides to take us. Yet, our Faith and Trust is that He will safely take us to where He wants us.

When we were little kids, and dad told us something, we believed him and we trusted him. We took what he said as complete truth. We may not have always liked what he had to say, but we knew that what he said was true. God our Father’s words are Truth. He does not lie. He does not cheat. He is the same God today that He was in the beginning of time (Hebrews 13:8).

These things I know to be true: God loves us and God loves our mom (John 3:16, 1 John 4:16), He has plans for each one of us (Jeremiah 29:11, Ecclesiastes 6:10), His ways are better than our ways (Isaiah 55:8) and we are to give thanks [to God] in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18)."

Originally published to Facebook on 7.20.16

"10 Years Ago Today " July 2, 2016

"10 years ago, today, I was in critical condition and in a coma at Cleveland Metro Hospital. Today, I got to spend July 2 with family and friends. My son, Myles, got to play with his cousin Josiah and friend Addison. My daughter, Millie, got to meet her great grandma Dixie-lee as well as her great uncle Brad and great aunt Paula Adams Baker. And Caroline and I got to spend a relaxing day on mom and dad's front porch with family and friends, just like every 4th of July for the last 10+ years. God is good my friends."

 

Originally published to Facebook on 7/2/16

"Flying With God" May 16, 2016

"Facebook Friends & Family: It's been a while since I've posted an update on my mom. As many of you know, early last year, mom went to see a doctor about a pain in her abdomen. After learning the pain was being caused by a tumor, we were devastated and we prayed that the tumor would be benign. However, unable to get a biopsy on the tumor, mom was scheduled for surgery at University Hospitals Seidman Cancer Center in mid July.

Even though it was a risky surgery, mom's doctor was able to successfully remove the tumor. When the doctor talked to us afterward the surgery, he informed us that the tumor "looked" to be cancerous. He was also "confused" about some of mom's blood work as it wasn't consistent with a normal cancer prognosis. To err on the side of caution, the doctor wanted mom to undergo several rounds of chemotherapy once she recovered from surgery. This was heart-breaking news for all of us. Yet, dad and mom prayed and felt they should proceed with the chemotherapy treatments.

The first chemotherapy treatment was a much stronger type of chemotherapy and mom had a severe reaction to it. Just minutes into the treatment, doctors and nurses immediately stopped treatment and her doctor decided to proceed with a "less intense" form of chemotherapy.

Over the next several months, mom would go through six rounds of grueling chemotherapy treatments. We thanked the Lord that, even though her immune system was weakened by the treatments, mom never became sick with a cold or flu and was able to finish her last treatment in December of 2015. And when her doctors checked he CA count, her levels were good and the cancer appeared to be gone.

However, early this year, mom learned her CA count had elevated and her doctor talked to my parents about starting her on a "sustainable" type of chemotherapy. This type of chemotherapy, according to her doctor, would only sustain her CA count. The risk involved with this chemotherapy (and with any chemotherapy treatment) is that it can cause "other types of cancer." Mom and dad were not comfortable with this treatment and, after more praying, decided to trust God with the rest of her healing.

In the last couple weeks, mom and dad learned of a new successful type of cancer treatment called "immunotherapy." (http://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/treatmenttypes/immunotherapy/). And on Mother's Day, Mom was able to connect with the Cancer Center of America in Philadelphia to learn more about this and other types of treatments they offer. The person she spoke with on the phone was also a Christian and they talked for 2 hours. Mom was greatly encouraged by their conversation and, within the next 48 hours, she and dad were set to fly out to Philadelphia where they will spend a week at the center.

Friends, as mom and dad embark into this next chapter of mom's story, I sincerely ask that you continue to keep them (and us) in your prayers. Mom and dad fly out to Philadelphia tomorrow morning. They are hopeful but also very anxious and nervous. We're not sure what God's plan is through all of this, but we know He has one and we continue to trust in Him.

Thank you all so much.

Originally published to Facebook on 5/16/16

"The Strongest Woman I Knew" May 8, 2016

Mom,

You are the strongest, most fearless, most faithful woman I have ever known. For a woman who was told she couldn't have children, you have lived every day expressing how grateful you are for the miracle of each one of us. You've taught us to look to God and not man, to value heavenly things instead of material things and to grow up to be men and women of God. You've given compassion and mercy to those whom we have loved and cared about in our lives without any hesitation. You've been a clear voice of truth calling out in a world of loud confusion and chaos. You have taught us so many things but, most of importantly, you've loved us unconditionally. We are so incredibly blessed to have such a loving mom like you. Happy Mother's Day and God bless you. I love you so much.

Originally published to Facebook 5/8/16

"Gently Floating" January 22, 2016

"I was gently floating in the middle of a beautiful pond on top a small blue kayak, hidden away by hundreds of thick green willow and pine trees. A choir of birds sang as a dark blue butterfly skimmed across the top of the glassy water and landed on a group of rocks at the waters edge. It didn't seem to matter where I was drifting, there was nothing to worry or fear here. I looked up into the sky and the sun warned my face. My hands and legs stay cool dangling outside in the water. I thought to myself, I never want to leave this place. Then, my alarm went off."

Originally published to Facebook 1/22/16 

"Living The Braveheart Life" January 14, 2016

A 2015 Christmas present from my mom, I read this book and made this post January 14, 2016.

“We may lose this house,' I said, as much to myself as to God, 'Maybe my sons won’t grow up in a big place with four bedrooms and three bathrooms and a swimming pool. Maybe we’ll have to go live in a house like I grew up in, with two bedrooms and one bathroom. But it didn’t hurt me; it was a happy place.’

Now, prayers that work, in my experience, are the ones that bring us to listen as well as we speak, and in my prayer I was hearing something. Still, I knew where my greatest fear lay.

‘What really matters to me now, Lord, is what happens with my sons. And if it’s best for them to grow up without plenty – if wealth is a danger to them instead of a privilege – then please make that happen. Help me show them what a man does when he gets knocked down, the way my Father showed me –‘"
 
An excerpt from the book “Living the Braveheart Life: Finding the Courage to Follow Your Heart” by Randall Wallace

September 23, 2015

Originally published to Facebook 9/23/15

I'm not interested in camping out on dusty truth. I'm not happy just following God's tracks. Maybe most people are happy to focus where God has been. But I want to know where He is right now and what He's doing right now. I don't think I'm alone when I say I'm not happy with just past truth. I need present truth, as well. I don't want to just study pages of what God has done. I want to see what God is doing. I am not saying that I do not love or study the Bible. To not read or study God's word would be to miss out on the greatest love letter ever written. What I am saying is to only just study them, interpret them and debate their contextual meaning, will leave you feeling very empty inside and missing out on where He is and being a part of what He is doing.

September 4, 2015

Originally published to Facebook 9/4/15

"Facebook Family & Friends, an update on my mom: As most of you know, her first round of chemotherapy did not go well. Perhaps a blessing in disguise, but mom had a very bad reaction to the medicine and nearly "coded." Dr's stopped treatment immediately and waited a week to begin treatment with a different mix of the meds. Because of her severe reaction and new type of chemotherapy they are moving forward with, mom will only have 6 chemo treatments total and should be done before Christmas. Yet, this 1 chemotherapy treatment has left mom in horrible pain for the last several days. We're told this is normal, but even still, this has been extremely difficult for mom (and dad). Thankfully my brother Dan (a night owl) has been helping out by staying up late at their house, rubbing mom's feet and cooling her off with ice packs. Way to go bro.

At any rate, we still believe that mom is healed. Her blood work reading, even before starting chemo, was very good. The Dr's have told us that the treatment she is receiving now is precautionary.

Thank you all so much for your gifts, cards, notes of encouragement and financial blessings to mom and dad. I know they have meant so much to them. Please continue to lift them up in prayer as they continue on this difficult journey. And blessings to all of you."

August 23, 2015

Originally published to Facebook 8/23/15

"Facebook Friends & Family, if you would like to share Shelley Janssen's surprise prayer walk video with someone who is not on Facebook, please use the below YouTube link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAK5OqKikYA — with Rhonda Wynn, Sue Rose Janssen, Josh Ercoli and 16 others."

August 23, 2015

Originally published to Facebook 8/23/15

"The evening before my mom Shelley Janssen's first day of chemotherapy, around 200 of her friends and family surprised her by gathering outside her house to encourage her and walk around the park in prayer. Special thanks to my sister Jenna Rundo and Rob Leona Graham for organizing the event and to everyone else who blessed us by helping out. God bless you all!
If you wish to bless mom and dad even more, please consider sending them an encouraging card to P.O. Box 56 Mesopotamia, OH 44439. If you wish to visit them, PM me and I'll send you their address.

Find this video on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/LAK5OqKikYA"

August 8, 2015

Originally published to Facebook on 8/8/15

"Facebook friends and family: I want to share an update on my mom. The pathology results of the tumor, removed from my mom a couple weeks ago, indicated stage 3 ovarian cancer. We were hoping for better news. However, the doctor explained to us that he is pretty certain he removed 98% of the suspicious material during the surgery and if he were to paint a picture of a best-case scenario, this would be it. Yet, he does want mom to have 6 weeks of chemotherapy, which she will start later this month. The doctor is fairly confident that the chemotherapy should eliminate whatever he was unable to remove. This is obviously a very scary thing for mom and all of us. However, our faith and hope is in Jesus Christ who has brought our family through hard times before.

For friends and family living close to mom and dad in Mesopotamia, OH, my sister has set up a meal train for people who would like to drop off meals. I will include the link below. For those unable to drop off meals, please join our family in prayer and faith as we continue to embark on this difficult journey. Thank you.

https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/15wezw"